Looking Through the Window

"Looking Through the Window"

That statement alone can mean a lot of things; whether you feel like you are trapped on the outside looking in, that other peoples lives are more desirable than yours, that your partner gets a lot more opportunities than you do, or lots of other reasons. This blog is designed to challenge the way we view our life and the weight we allow other peoples lives(and opinions) to take on our soul.

I'm beginning this blog also for my own personal journey in trying to find my place in my family, my marriage, my ministry opportunities, my relationships with others,  and how I try to remain positive when I feel like I don't quite measure up.

I challenge you to take this journey with me. Evaluate your heart, mind, body, spirit, and soul. Let's better ourselves for the greater good of the world!


A little background on me...... I have been married to the most wonderful man in the world for 7 years. We met while we were in Bible College(nerds.. I know😜). I am a stay at home Momma to our two boys, Kellin is 2 and Kenan is almost 6 months. We also have 2 little doggies named Trigger and Nala. My husband is currently and Associate Pastor and Worship Leader at a church in Bristol, TN and we are also the Youth Pastors. Besides all of that I am a daughter, sister, avid crafter, and lover of all things Disney and Christmas!!!

You could say that my life is beyond full! But on the real..... I have some very awesome days and I can have some very off moments! Sometimes I struggle with feeling important. I am currently on this journey to find out exactly what my purpose is. I have been told my whole life by other people that I am this or I am that, and then when things didn't go according to their plan I was...... nothing.

About 8 years ago, I went through what ended up being a very dramatic and traumatizing season in my life that left me questioning exactly who am I. Its is obviously a question I am still faced with today. Right now, I know that I am a mom! I am breastfeeding my almost 6 month old(what feels like constantly) and I know that I am his source of life. Even with that, I find myself trying to measure up with what society makes you feel like it should look like or be like.

I mentioned earlier that I met my husband while we were in Bible College and we are also Youth Pastors so I do have a desire to work in the ministry, but feel like i don't fit in. I was accompanying my husband to a youth revival that he was speaking at and I just felt trapped. This was a revival in my own hometown and it was the 3rd one he had been asked to speak at in that area in the last 2 months. I felt like I was looking through the window into what God was doing through my husband but not through me. I wanted to cry. I wanted to be bitter with God and ask why am I not getting opportunities. Why does it feel like I am stuck on the sidelines? Am I even called to ministry anymore?

Then, God spoke to my heart and begin to challenge everything I have ever thought about how ministry was supposed to look. He reminded me that being versatile and being active behind the scenes is just as important as being in the pulpit. He revealed to me that "just" being a Mom in the season, is the most important ministry thing I can be because I am sowing life and examples into my children's lives that they will carry on into adulthood and maybe even their own ministries one day. Also, because I am doing what I am doing in this season, it is allowing my husband to do what God has called him to do. I am standing with him and praying for him, but I am also taking care of our boys and that frees him up to be able to take speaking appointments and not have to worry about who has the boys. If we can go with him, we do. If we can't, we don't and that is okay!

Being understanding of God's plan for my life in this season is a tremendously difficult task. I am striving everyday to stop asking Him questions and just start following his leading, doing what He is telling me to do when He tells me to do it. I am learning to be okay with other people getting the opportunities that I want, because I know God has something better for me. If I do something out of the right season or timing, it won't be effective! I don't want to be ineffective! I want to make a difference so if that means walking in patience and trying to plug in and grow in the season that I am in...... then that's what I will do!

I challenge you, to do the same. Plug in to where you are planted. Get all the "water" and "sustenance" that you can. Serve wherever you see a hole(maybe the hole is there because you are suppose to fill it😮) This is all preparation so you can Bloom in your season!

                                                                                                     -Walking out my Journey,
                                                                                                                      Kelsey M.